@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
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@crabgirl_: The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before.
@ThugPickles: OMG! THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! "OMG." Wtf are you doing?! "HIDING MY DAMN CEREAL!"
@shadonium: Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*
@batkaren: HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No.