@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
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@KeetPotato: [kelloggs meeting] "okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?" a chicken "jim is there something wrong at home?"
@NoTheOtherJohn: "Welcome to lazy club. My name i-*doors get kicked in* "THIS IS A ROBBERY! NOBODY MOVE!" [voice from the back] "Nobody was going to."
@pittdave13: My son found some handcuffs under our bed so I had to have "the talk" today... I'm an international crime fighter now