@Iwriteforcats: Why doesn't, "I have a headache!" work for when I don't want to mow the yard?
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@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.
@chimneyspotter: ME: Mexican food does NOT agree with me BURRITO: Correct. Your thoughts on middle eastern power structures are banal and imperialist at best
@missteenussr: Never feel like you're too small to make a difference. After all, a tiny raisin has the ability to RUIN EVERYTHING ITS BAKED IN.
@shkeeber: I would never take candy from a stranger, but I'd probably follow a trail of bacon straight into the back of a windowless white van.