@Iwriteforcats: Why doesn't, "I have a headache!" work for when I don't want to mow the yard?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Are those Chinos? Me: No. These are my pants. Coworker... Me: Who steals pants?
@ojedge: [on a first date] "Have [gestures across the whole menu] whatever you want. I hear the McRib is particularly excellent this time of year."
@wickedsuga: Just found a pill in the bottom of my purse. Have no clue what it is, but I'm real excited to take it and see what happens.
@badbanana: People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects.