@Quartzjixler: Why doesn't Popeye's serve spinach?
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@semple42: Don't think I won't spin around and French kiss you if you're standing too close to me in line at the liquor store.
@Tmoney68: Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight.
@Brianhopecomedy: Ugh, I may have lost my "World's Best Dad" keychain. My 2 year old was playing with it an hour ago but I don't know where she went.
@Tmoney68: Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs. I couldn't do it. My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary.