@omgthatspunny: Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they would be called Bagels!
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@SeanBlazed: Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice.
@GinAndJif: "Dave's coming for dinner tonight." "Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?" [from outside] "...hakuna banana."
@thatUPSdude: "Eating Clean" means not leaving a scrap behind on your plate right? Then yes, I "eat clean".