@wolfpupy: why dont they ever have plagues of endangered animals, like a plague of panda bears. oh no our entire bamboo crop is gone haha
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@dubstep4dads: i bet the first guy to say "smooth as a babies bottom" wasnt the most respected man in the community
@AbrasiveGhost: WIFE: I think he's in a midlife crisis "Why, did he buy a new car?" WIFE: not yet [I pull up on a sleigh pulled by roughly 1000 raccoons]
@DamonHunzeker: "A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir"