@wolfpupy: why dont they ever have plagues of endangered animals, like a plague of panda bears. oh no our entire bamboo crop is gone haha
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@SHOWERTHlNKING: What if Harry Potter was dreaming for seven years because he ran headfirst into a wall at a train station?
@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!
@TheMichaelRock: My 8yo knows exactly how many hours are left until Christmas but can't remember to flush the toilet.