@joeljeffrey: Why don't they just get Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail?
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@dwaghalter: Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns. It's a play on words.
@SamuelHLowe: I forgive you, but I hope your death is written, produced, and directed by Quentin Tarantino.
@randomapeig: Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once Cop: I mean around here Me: nah they live in water
@ch000ch: i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly