@joeljeffrey: Why don't they just get Jehovah's Witnesses to deliver the mail?
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@Angrytrashman: I grew up in a time where your mothers saliva was the most powerful cleaning agent around.
@YUCKYBOT: The difference between my "Maine lobster" and my "main lobster" is boiling water or a high five.
@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@NicestHippo: BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go