@jwoodham: Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
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@JasonLastname: Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends.
@Tmoney68: [Job Interview] Boss: What's your biggest weakness? Me: *pulls laminated card out & hands it to him* Card: "My over-preparedness."
@murrman5: we lost our power "why?" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* "that's awes-" it's not as cool as it sounds