@jwoodham: Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
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@GrumpyComments: If a villain really wanted to kill James Bond, he should just inject HIV into one of his attractive cohorts and then wait.
@suntzufuntzu: Me: [Advancing my knight] How much to build a hotel on this square? Grim Reaper: First, as I explained, that's not how the horse moves.
@clindsaysway: When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.