@OINKimmaPIG: Why go out and be a 3rd wheel when you can stay home and be a unicycle?
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@KeetPotato: mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]
@Derekexplosm: Hey doofus, the fashion police called. Your father died last night on duty. He wanted you to have this. "Slim fitting houndstooth peacoat*
@TheBoydP: Protip: If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”
@Nodine13: Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy.