@WilliamAder: Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.
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@BruceForce: t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t ~ just dotting some i's and crossing some t's.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?
@Jake_Vig: My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
@VaguelyFunnyDan: (confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does "Single Ladies" dance)