@WilliamAder: Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.
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@turtledumplin: Cashier: would u like a bag? Me: no I'll just carry the economy box of pads & Midol out so whoever thinks of kidnapping me will think twice
@stanleybehrman: Thank you Twitter for introducing me to brilliant people , but your suggestions of who is similar to me is making me reassess my life.
@markhoppus: I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your email..."