@ibid78: "Why haven't you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
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@sammontgomery: Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [Budapest airport] IMMIGRATION: So what is your purpose for visiting Hungary? ME: [holding huge bag of marbles] I wanna see the hippoes.
@Jenny4ashley: My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like "please untie me" and "just tell me who you are".