@ibid78: "Why haven't you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
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@michaelianblack: Happy Fourth of July. May your emails be gathered and your drones fly forever free!
@pplwtching: Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
@SuperRandomish: Coworker: "How'd you get that cut above your eye?" Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"
@jazmasta: If you are unsure whether your kitten is male or female try this: - Tickle it - If HE laughs it's a male - If SHE laughs it's a female