@mishakey: Why haven't you introduced me to your followers yet? Are you ashamed of me?
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@FauxFawx: In 1974 I helped a man called "Falcon" throw a heavy bag into the river.That nite on the news, I learned what it was: 300lbs of used condoms
@librarianfonz: It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
@WheelTod: Early in any job interview be sure to use the phrase "I always give 110%", so you can quickly gauge their tolerance for working with idiots.