@IamEnidColeslaw: why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
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@TravLeBlanc: I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die.
@SortaBad: "Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"
@MarieColette: I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.