@hunz74: Why is childbirth called "delivery" and not "take out?"
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@fart: if cops want to catch serial killers why don't they just hang out at petsmart and follow home the guys that buy tarantulas
@ThaJawn: I grew up on cartoon violence So naturally, when I fight, it's a giant dust ball with stars and exclamation points flying about
@kellyoxford: Cyclists who don't obey street signs should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt.
@LizHackett: My husband walked into the kitchen and asked, "What's burning?" I told him, "The world. But what you smell is the chicken."