@AintNoFamily: Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.
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@zachreinert03: My friend said a baby crying is the best form of birth control but there was a baby bawling next door all night & my girlfriend got pregnant
@Gen22: McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on.