@sadmonsters: Why is everyone worried about meteors instead of the possibility that Russia just got their own Superman?
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@robfee: When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop.
@rambo_dogg: If Romeo & Juliet didn't die and were allowed to marry, they'd have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other. So it was a happy ending
@SteveSuckington: How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
@Wakenbake77: if you come trick or treating at my house you will leave with less candy than what you had