@rickolantern: Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June.
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@Samzen_: All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women.
@aveuaskew: You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead.
@jimmytorosian: A lawyer walks into a bar. A lawyer leaves the bar. A lawyer walks into the bar. A lawyer fails the bar because he was drunk.