@Rollinintheseat: Why is Iron Man's arch nemesis not Wrinkle Man?
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@ChillE_ConCarne: When my child is born I'll paint flames on him so when I stand with the other parents at the nursery I can say "Thats my son. The fast one."
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
@TheMichaelRock: I'm not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I'm just saying that innocent people don't write songs to defend themselves.
@WheelTod: Today my 6yo said it was good it's snowing, as that means the earth isn't getting hotter, and tonight she starts as an anchor on Fox News.