@Rollinintheseat: Why is Iron Man's arch nemesis not Wrinkle Man?
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@MelKassel: ME: do dogs think we have three mouths because we pick stuff up with our hands? VET: where exactly is your dog ME: he's uh coming later
@autocorrects: You're 15 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 2 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating dirt.
@JohnASinclair: I'm gonna have a secret lair that consists of toilets and sinks. It'll be called "John Sinclair's john and sink lair"
@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.