@Rollinintheseat: Why is Iron Man's arch nemesis not Wrinkle Man?
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@TravLeBlanc: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
@TheTennisPhenom: hello 911, yeah me again. so listen 29 of my recent tweets have been stolen and.. hello? hello?
@markleggett: 1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run.