@Rollinintheseat: Why is Iron Man's arch nemesis not Wrinkle Man?
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@bees_wingz: I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.
@TheCatWhisprer: *whispers to dog wearing a 'working dog, do not pet' vest* psst what time does your shift end?
@MelvinofYork: Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head.