@mudpaperscissor: Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
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@david8hughes: As a fireman, I'm constantly asked questions like, "Can you please stop flexing & put out that fire?"
@john_vavra: GF: ...I'm pregnant ME: *holding a 10-piece chicken nuggets box that actually has 11 nuggets* I've also got some pretty big news
@squirrel74wkgn: As I exposed my glorious chest hairs & catapulted toward the Velcro wall, I realized that I had no exit strategy.