@TheIronSherk: Why is it called a "network of computers streaming Disney movies to cows" and not "Moo-LAN"
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@JermHimselfish: You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion.
@Branka_R: My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
@KentWGraham: If you text your boss that you can’t come in and include the poop emoji, he doesn’t ask any questions.
@Spaziotwat: [Last Supper] Jesus:"We need 13 chairs please" Judas:"But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD" Jesus:"AD?"