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@Sickayduh: WHY IS IT CALLED "CAPS LOCK"
AND NOT "CAPITAL PUNISHMENT"
@Cheeseboy22: Just ate an order of cheese fries and smoke started coming out of my Fitbit.
@BoomBoomBetty: Our security system revealed that a black cat arrives at our house every night around 10pm. It then sits on our front stoop all night and leaves around 5am. There is only one logical explanation: I am going to Hogwarts soon.
@MUMSIEesq: If my 3YO's fortune was "you will eat the paper inside the cookie and then cry about it for 2 hrs," this Chinese restaurant is VERY accurate
@Darlainky: If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will.
@ninjadinosaur1: If my dog doesn't like you, then I don't like you. Unless you're hot, then the dog can go in the crate for a couple hours.