@Andrea__B__: Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
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@gorrdano: Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker "Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."
@jake_lach: When I was 12 I ate a bee to impress a girl, and she just sent me a friend request on Facebook. So, mission accomplished.
@otterwrangler: Please stop giving your dogs human names. My sons Buster & Lucky are getting pretty sensitive about this!