@Andrea__B__: Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@envydatropic: Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs.
@Inconsteveable: Me: "Can I leave work half an hour early?" Boss: "Only if you make up the time." "OK. It's 35 past 50." Boss: "Just go.."
@david8hughes: [speaking at funeral] Deceased's brother: there's no words to describe the anguish we all feel right now Me: what about 'anguish'?
@shutupmikeginn: I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, "mind if I join?"