@foxnerdrn: Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?
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@hammbone84: If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone.
@nedostup: I can't stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can't take it.
@DurtMcHurtt: I'm walking on sunshine, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I'm startin' to feel AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS TERRIBLE