@ChipKellysBalls: Why is it the the people who drink the most Red Bull are the people who seem to have the least going on?
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@drewjanda: Inventor of raisins: "What do you like about grapes" me: the juice part, the freshness Inventor: right but what if they had neither
@WhaJoTalkinBout: For a dude who just shot a man in the head, the guy from Bohemian Rhapsody seems quite sanctimonious about getting spit on.
@garrydavenport: I name photos of me stroking animals in files called "Fireworks and big dogs.jpg" so my cats won't find them on my computer.