@ValeeGrrl: Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago.
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@daemonic3: [at Waldo's trial] Judge: Jury, how do you find the defendant? Jury: We the jury find the defendant by looking in the top left of the page
@TheAlexNevil: I put hydrogen peroxide on a cut to show 7 it doesn't MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THIS STUFF MADE FROM THE BLOOD OF PIRANHAS?! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!
@_UltimateTwit: Like most parents, my wife and I love to proudly watch our beautiful little daughter whilst she sleeps. Freaks her husband out though.