@ValeeGrrl: Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago.
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@Dawn_M_: I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular.
@goldengateblond: The Wicked Witch swings a light saber at Obi-Wan just as he throws a water balloon at her. All anyone finds later are piles of clothes.
@ThaJawn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Someone is eating pineapple on pizza! 911: That's- Me: PUT THE PIZZA DOWN, KAREN! THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY!
@danblackroyd: Little Caesars: It's hot and it's ready. Me: Is it good? Little Caesars: It's HOT. And it's READY.