@ValeeGrrl: Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago.
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@bornmiserable: "This race is over," said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president.
@AaronFullerton: USA: "Hey nachos, today's your big day!" Nachos: "What about Cinco de Mayo?" USA: "What'd you just say?" Nachos: "Nothing."
@donni: Strawberry is a terrible name. "Ooh, a berry with all the flavor of a straw," you'd think. But you'd be wrong
@Diversion50: BUZZ ALDRIN: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with E. NEIL ARMSTRONG: Earth? BUZZ: Nope *5 minutes silence* BUZZ: OK, yep.