@ValeeGrrl: Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@badbanana: Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather.
@markleggett: Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."
@UncleDuke1969: Me: What do you think of my tweets? Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say? Wife: You're consistent.
@PaperWash: before cameras, people would have to say "cheese" for two hours while they got their portrait painted