@senderblock23: Why is there a wolf on Wall Street. Animals are bad with money. My cat just lost $80 at high-stakes uno
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@EJGomez: [slams on the brakes] WHAT DO YOU MEAN LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYED BOTH TWINS IN THE PARENT TRAP
@KalvinMacleod: [Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H...Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*
@ItalianBratikus: My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon.
@SonOfCha: Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you.