@senderblock23: Why is there a wolf on Wall Street. Animals are bad with money. My cat just lost $80 at high-stakes uno
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@BuffaloHomo: Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do.
@Iwriteforcats: The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
@WilliamAder: If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used.
@Tmoney68: When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.