@ChipKellysBalls: Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.
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@robfee: The Santa Clause (1994) A man gains a ton of weight after murdering a stranger on his roof
@flashember: DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it
@seancoleran: Girlfriend: Why is this broom broken? Did you draw a lightning bolt on the cat? Are you writing with a feather? Me: Muggles....