@RedemptionAJ: Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?
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@UnFitz: Wild horses could easily drag me away. Probably a good sized dog or motivated cat could do the trick. A big bunch of gerbils, maybe.
@simoncholland: Like on Amazon or in our house? [My response when my wife asks me if I can find something for her]
@RoosterMustache: "Where'd my boomerang go?" Under there "Under where?" Hahaha I just made you say "underwear" *boomerang hits me in the back of the head*