@TumblrEdits: why is this so accurate
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@InternetHippo: *turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY
@TheTweetOfGod: People often say things in the heat of anger that in hindsight they regret not accompanying with a punch in the face.
@DanMentos: "So Dave died" Dave from work or Dave who never follows through on things "Both. it was a suicide pact" *dave walks in* hey guys