@AdamUrbane: Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head? Lice. Lice, maybe.
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@kibblesmith: "How did the Nukey War start, Oldfather?" "Well ..." [I stoke the fire] "It was Hashtag International Cat Day..."
@KatieBurnett: To the guy who turned the entire first floor of his house into a giant ball pit - I will find you, and I will marry you
@JessBWatson: I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat.