@fro_vo: why isn't thunder called soundning
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@onume_: The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use.
@Jake_Vig: Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol
@BGH70: The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, "zip up your pants and go see HR now!"