@VicFuture: Why its called 'having your period' and not 'rolling out the red carpet ' I'll never know.
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@matt___nelson: Nepal: "just like awkwardly stack two triangles to make our flag" All the other countries have rectangles "TWO TRIANGLES" Alright ok fine
@JohnLyonTweets: [parent-teacher conference] Teacher: Which kid is yours? Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'?
@krustythe_klown: The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest invention ever. Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?