@Tharin_P: Why learn a second language, when you don't have anything interesting to say in your first one?
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How was your first day of school? 5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back?
@bluebonetbabies: My son just threatened to not talk to me for the rest of the day. I'm 3% offended and 97% hoping he follows through.
@Sirrruh: Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though.