@gvicks: Why let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance?
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@markleggett: A bird in the hand is worth nothing and is probably giving you duck AIDS. Put it back.
@Vodkantots: I'm incredibly flattered that my therapist thinks I should be in anger management. I've never even held an entry-level position.
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.
@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it