@huntigula: why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free
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@sip_at_home_mom: Finally cleaned out the fridge to make meal planning easier. Tonight, we're having buttered olives with mustard and baking soda.
@lachlan: Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year.
@elspetheastman: Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted
@OfficeLinebcker: "If I eat my arm, I can't technically gain any weight" - my thought process after only 5 days of dieting. I'm doomed.