@Jackson5toLife: Why roboticize vacuuming? It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning.
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@JoParkerBear: "Don't ever do cocaine, son." "Why, mommy? Is it bad for you?" "I was going to say 'expensive,' but yeah, whatever."
@Wussawilla: Remember when you first joined twitter and you had no idea how to RT or what favstar was and remembered what your family looked like?
@briancthayer: *mom puts a gummy vitamin in my mouth while I yawn* Mom, I'm 36. *chews it up, swallows* Adults are supposed to have 2 though.