@vladchoc: Why should I have to take a first aid course? Why is this on me? Why don't you take a "how to eat sandwiches without choking" course?
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@AnnaKei26: According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now
@Super_Cynthia: [auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]
@vmochama: why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?
@itshotterhere: 9 y/o daughter: dad, what's your favourite healthy food? Me: fruits. Your's? 9: Eggs Me: Good 9: like Reese's peanut butter eggs