@web_supergirl: Why stop with two L's Lloyd? why?
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@lawking30: Making NSA work hard today: just left vm for Senator saying, "drop-off done" & then made a hair appointment at a salon in Lahore, Pakistan.
@LeBearGirdle: "Hey mom can Kyle come over?" mom: Kyle from your school or Kyle who is really bad at finishing other people's- [From outside] LOOFAS!
@FloodyHippie: You don't need to put "narcissist" in your bio. This is twitter, that shit goes without saying.
@AtticusFinch79: *taking training wheels off my old bike* Mom: You're not ready for this. Me: I'm 37, Mom. I've got this. *starts pedaling; hits a tree*