@kentgrossarth: Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.
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@Kyle_Lippert: "What do we call this war?" "The World War?" "No. There's already been 1 of those" "Uh this is a world war, too" *the streetlights explode*
@david8hughes: [first day as a bartender] Customer: gimme a scotch on the rocks Me [scrunching towel into glass]: I know lemonade, I can do lemonade
@AmericanGent69: Picture someone chasing down a ping pong ball that fell on the floor. Ok that's how I dance.
@DanMentos: Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals 2. Mall security guards get to use real handcuffs