@Tmoney68: Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
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@MrSpoonicorn: *i got to get into bed but theres a walrus in there* *i ask him politely to move* *he wont move* *i have to sleep on the floor & im annoyed*
@johnnyw1981: As I lay my phone down to sleep, I pray my brain won't think of tweets. If I die before I wake, I pray and hope my phone to break.
@huntigula: Jesus: remember disciples, everything the light touches is god's kingdom Judas: um, isn't that from the Lion King? Jesus: *glares at Judas*