@Tmoney68: Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
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@Prince_Smarming: A co-worker said to me, "Could you be any more annoying?" So the next day I wore tap shoes to work.
@Kyle_Lippert: Steps to getting into her pants: 1) Wait for her to fall asleep 2) Take her pants off 3) Put them on yourself 4) Find a top that matches
@Book_Krazy: *Buys world map* *Pins map to wall* *Promises to visit wherever dart lands* *Throws dart at fridge*
@FrogAvalanche: "Dad, I cant sleep." Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB. "Dad Im seven-" Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS.