@electrolemon: why was 6 mad when 7 won her a stuffed elephant? because 7 1 1 4 9 2
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@heytherejeffro: Pretty sure the "FINISH HIM" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date.
@sliver_of: I love how once you hit 30 every conversation can be turned into a competition for how little effort was put into pulling a muscle.
@LifeUnPinterest: My husband said I need a scary costume for Halloween this year, so I'm dressing up as a Positive Pregnancy Test.