@electrolemon: why was 6 mad when 7 won her a stuffed elephant? because 7 1 1 4 9 2
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: What happened? Me: A Smart Car hit one of those little Fiats. Cop: Can you describe the accident. Me: Adorable?
@InternetHippo: Pokémon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere
@tastefactory: 2005: We want cell phones to be so tiny 2015: We want cell phones the size of the big rib from the Flintstones intro that tips the car over
@Lilbyrdy: My daughter said she wants to run away. We talked. She knows she can walk. I wont chase her.