@ReaIlyHighGuy: Why was 9 afraid of 10? Because 10 11 12.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: I wish you were more romantic me *starts biting the chicken nugget I'm eating into the shape of a heart*
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Marriage lasts until death. You’re not married in heaven. Me: Why not? Wife: Then we’d be in hell.
@TheBeerGuy73: Pro tip: Wives do not find it hilarious when you add a bunch of extra candles to their surprise birthday cake. I know this now.