@SomeChrisTweets: Why was six afraid of seven? Generations of institutionalized bigotry.
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@JediGigi: I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs.
@NicestHippo: [college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?
@HALFniteStand: "The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL." - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls.