@WilliamAder: Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
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@JesseWeller: Oh, hey guys how were the bars tonight? That's cool. In case you were wondering all of the Harry Potter movies are still really good.
@WheelTod: It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk.
@TheTweetOfGod: I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.
@galiamango: I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems