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@SwoonTwang: Why would a needle even be in a haystack? Who sews in a barn?
@junejuly12: Sometimes I want to kidnap a few woman for two to three weeks so that their eyebrows can grow without fear
@DawnLovesZombie: I'm surprised the sloths made it to the ark in time.
@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.
@SnellWarren: I've always sucked at math! How many people should there be in a relationship?
@kibblesmith: Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS