@SwoonTwang: Why would a needle even be in a haystack? Who sews in a barn?
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@WheelTod: [First Date] Me: "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been burned before." *Stuffs handful of fries through visor in hazmat suit *Closes visor
@librarianfonz: I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together.
@myles_morrison: Any girl who says she's not the jealous type will change her tune when another girl phones you drunk at 3am.
@GlennyRodge: Whenever I left a door open, my mum would ask if I was born in a barn, which is odd because you'd think she'd remember something like that.