@jwoodham: Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now.
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@MelissaDawn1974: Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it.
@Juicedballs: If babies named Todd don't call themselves "The Toddler" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?
@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"