@jwoodham: Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SabotagedSmoke: Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood. I need to wipe.
@Sal_Stevens: Hey baby, I'm like Fred Flintstone I can really make your bed-rock. Also I live in a cave and don't have any electricity
@kyle_thatisall: The years 2045. 90s kids are old &wrinkly. Grandma tosses seeds to pigeons "Go insane go insane throw sum glitter make it rain" she whispers
@SharkJelly: *in a fight with Humpty Dumpty* "You don't scare me, I eat eggs like you for breakfast"