@jwoodham: Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now.
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@kumailn: [God making trees] God: "They're alive but not. Every now & then they drop food." Angel: "I don't--" God: "Also they breathe the opposite."
@novocapulum: Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not "English" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet.