@timdonakowski: Why would anyone become an architect when everything you do gets destroyed in an X-Men movie?
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@Sean_Burgundy_: [ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up
@jessienope: religious? why yes i'm very religious, i'm always reading [glances at bible] the beeblay
@IamEnidColeslaw: rroses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day was invented by big corporations so they could sell more anti-depressants
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: "Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a nice..Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"