@IamEnidColeslaw: why would anyone want a baby? it's just another thing you have to clean
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@Scimommy: Overheard 10 plan her b-day party with her BFF, including renting several hotel rooms for a mega sleepover. Somebody tell her, I can't.
@ThugRaccoons: Me: I’m going to mall Wife: For what? Me: Oh, you know. To, um, shop Wife: So, you’re NOT going to stand at the top of the escalator saying “wow, that escalated quickly” to everyone that gets off? Me: I thought I asked you not to bring that UP.
@hippieswordfish: b-52's songs: -'love shack' -'hate shed' -'sad tent' -'happy igloo' -'frustrated RV' -'depression garage' -'melancholy lake house'
@KeetPotato: [interview with girl at dating agency] i get shy around pretty girls [girl smiles brushing hair from her face] "are you shy now" not really