@jctwritesstuff: Why would I want to talk to your baby? On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.
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@causticbob: What does a corpse and snow have in common? They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children.
@3sunzzz: I'm not one to bet, but I'd put $50 on the fact that the waffle was probably created when someone accidentally stepped on a pancake.
@TwatWaffler69: If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it.
@audipenny: *carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*