@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.
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@imence2: Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive.
@Kyle_Lippert: If you look in your bathroom mirror & say "Donald Trump" 3 times, the hair in your shower drain rises up & starts yelling racist slurs.