@ashleykiwi26: Why yes, I do live under a rock. It's called the moon.
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@EndhooS: 11 y/o Daughter: [opens xmas present] uh..cable ties? Wife: she asked for a pony.. Me: a pony? ..SHE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AFTER HER CABLES LINDA
@Beesthegame: [Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering.